Prepping For Terrorism

 

 It's that time of the year again in the northern hemisphere, when we as emetophobics need to find creative ways to diminish our threats by reminding ourselves, over and over again, about the real world. Are you mentally prepared? In case of emergency, always remember to rely on the comfort and solace in the fact that it's just suicide bombs, not norovirus. When you really think deeper about it, ISIS are quite good guys after all. They will just try to kill you, not leave a bag of vomit on the public bus for the extensive and exalting prize of seven virgins in paradise.

 
 
I accidentally stumbled upon this manual online. Everyone should read it through and keep it in mind these days:

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/recognising-the-terrorist-threat/recognising-the-terrorist-threat
 

As expected, I also found it correctly applicable to emetophobia. Here are some examples of extracts from the document, with translations added:
 

 

Vehicle-borne improvised explosive devices (VBIED) [Air-borne aerosols and particles from vomit]

 VBIEDs can be highly destructive. Not only can the bomb blast[puke] be lethal[cause panic], but flying debris, such as glass[splashes of drops], can present a hazard.

 VBIEDs can carry a large quantity of explosives[contagions] to a target and cause a great deal of damage[anxiety]. The device can be delivered at a time of the terrorist’s[sick person's] choosing, with reasonable precision (depending on defences). It can be detonated from a safe distance using a timer or remote control[toilet], or can be detonated on the spot[in your knee] by a suicide bomber.

 

exit sign photo: GTFO th1163524603155wb7.gif

 

 

ARMED POLICE RESPONSE [EXPERTS ADVICE]

  • Follow officers[therapists] instructions
  • Remain calm[breathe]
  • Can you move to a safer area?
  • Avoid sudden movements[unnecessary thoughts] that may be considered a threat
  • Keep your hands in view[washed]

 

OFFICERS MAY [LOVED ONES MAY]

  • Point guns at you[accuse you]
  • Treat you firmly[be unfair]
  • Question you[disbelieve you]
  • Be unable to distinguish you from the attacker[tell you that you are dramatic, just looking for attention and feeling sorry for yourself]
  • Officers will evacuate you when it is safe to do so[when you stop shouting]

 

 

Cold feet, hot ears.

 

 

 

Cyber threat [Media]

 In the 21st century, one of the greatest threats to a company or organisation is from cyber attacks[online headlines about norovirus outbreaks]. The effects can often be devastating: the loss of crucial data[updated and relevant statistics], or a reduction in operating efficiency, or even closure[avoidance behaviour].

 Your senior management must assess the risk appetite of the company or organisation. But it is vital that everyone in your workplace understands the risks posed by cyber attacks. [Tell everyone at work about the sufferings of your phobia.]

 A cyber attacker may not reveal themselves or even the nature of the attack. An attack may have no obvious adverse effects, but will extract information or data from your networks.[A person posting about vomiting on social media may have good intentions. The information about the seasonal epidemic may seem useful at first, but it will only pull you further out of touch with reality.]


 

 Here are just some final additional thoughts for food for everyone around the globe, especially in the southern hemisphere, this time of the year. You probably all know this already. Keep warm food hot and cold food cold. Otherwise bacteria will grow. Keep the kitchen clean. If you are emetophobic there is no need to worry about the real threat from these things since you are a warrior/non-emetic and you know it. You just spare yourself from the worrying about being worried from slight queeziness. 

 

 

Shut up Ramsay, you fool. Your mouth is way too big to know what you are even talking about.

 

 

 

 If you are facing disaster and eventually survive: Remember to be right back up in the air again after the crash as soon as possible, just like a fighter pilot. This isn't the end, it's just the beginning. Don't allow yourself to be pulled down, blocked or locked up by the experience. Don't allow it to steal your time and space. Act against it! Do things that you love more than anything afterwards. Create your own cool associations to it instead. Decide for yourself that the good things in life must conquer the bad at all costs in the end and be victorious.